Doubts.

I have a lot of moments of self doubt, of whether or not I’m simply dreaming as I’m trying to pursue my passion.  Most days, if I avoid other artists (esp. via the internet), I find myself completely inspired.  I can hear a song on the radio and then want to make a simple and sweet greeting card.  I’ll see some old Christmas wrap and decide to create a new pattern, all inspired by my surroundings.

But then I have my bad days (as in: right now) where the internet suddenly envelopes me and I find artists who inspire me, yet completely leave me doubting my ability.  In frustration, I just threw away 4 sheets of 20+ designs because I got so caught up in comparing my work to someone elses.  And while I know that there is creativity in the quirks and the imperfections, it’s extremely hard to feel *good about yourself when you’re trying to break into a space that is SO over saturated with SO many amazing artists.

I know everyday gets better, and I know my best option is to do what works for me without letting the competition affect me, but it’s hard.  And it’s esp. hard when it’s just me – all by myself – with no one backing me.  I would love to throw my hands in the air and scream out that I AM SO PROUD OF MY WORK that there is no doubt whatsoever, but then I’d just be lying.  And I’m not here to lie.

That said.. I better grab those designs out of the recycling.  Maybe I’ll feel better about them tomorrow, when the insecurity has settled.

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