I figure it’s impossible to have a blog where I document my road to self-employment without telling the whole truth. I can’t mention all of the good and opportunities but then intentionally forget about all of the… not so good.
The truth is I’m in a slump. Maybe it’s a momentary thing, but it doesn’t quite feel that way.
Since coming back from our Hawaii trip, things have been a whirlwind. I had way more to do than I could contain, and immediately after I hosted a party at my home for my best friend’s 30th birthday. Between all of that and all of my shop orders, I probably spent more in packaging/ shipments + decor than I made that entire week. Now it’s Monday, and I’m doing my finances and I can’t help but cringe a little knowing that I was so frivolous… and knowing that my business taxes are due in about a week.
Don’t get me wrong, working for myself has been the biggest blessing I’ve ever experienced, and I know that I can’t take any of the good without the bad. But in all my time freelancing, I’ve never worried about money. I had the luxury of working an amazing lush fulltime job, while making tons of extra cash on the side. I always had both, so paychecks and lump sums just came in regularly. That’s not the case anymore, and I chose it to be this way.
It’s without saying that I have to give up a lot in order to truly get what I want in life, and where I want to be. This is just such unfamiliar territory for me. Worrying about my next big project and when it’ll come. Worrying about shop orders and how much I’m going to make that week. Worrying about my savings account as it continues to dwindle.
Ultimately, I chose this. And I knew all of this was possible – and I knew that it may/ may not work out for me. I just have to ride it out. <3